


Agent Door?: Spilling the Vigilan-tea

by anonymousnug



Series: Spiderson and Peter Parker Oneshots [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Brief Bucky Barnes, Canon Disabled Character, I didn't tag every single relationship, Lighthearted, M/M, Mentioned Wade Wilson, Mentioned Weasel, Peter Parker Has a Family, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, just the most important ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28269204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousnug/pseuds/anonymousnug
Summary: About a day after Agent Door?: The Sequel, Tony and Steve suddenly take an odd interest in the people Peter's been hanging around.Basically just Peter spilling the tea on all the Defenders.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jessica Jones & Peter Parker, Luke Cage & Peter Parker, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Danny Rand, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: Spiderson and Peter Parker Oneshots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060163
Kudos: 41





	Agent Door?: Spilling the Vigilan-tea

**Author's Note:**

> By special request, let's get into Agent Door?: Spilling the Vigilan-tea
> 
> (The title is a WIP, okay, I had no idea what to name this.)

Scrolling through my phone, I looked up at the ceiling as FRIDAY called my name. She said Pops and Mr. Stark were at the door, so I told her to let them in. The door opened and I stared up at them, watching them sit down, Pops on my bed, and Mr. Stark at my desk. After a moment of awkward silence, Mr. Stark started talking.

"What about Jessica Jones, that one PI?" He asked. 

"What about her?" I responded. I glanced between them, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Ya know, do you know her or anything?" Mr. Stark replied. "Do you know any of the other... What do they call themselves? The "Defenders?" I dragged my hand down my face, groaning.

"There, there, Pete. We're just giving you a hard time!" Laughed my Pops. 

"No, I'm not joking, who do they think they are? Calling themselves "The Defenders" as if they do anything more important than any other vigilante?!" Mr. Stark exclaimed, I could see the twinkle in his eye that said he wasn't totally serious.

"Well, there's Jessica, she's a private investigator, and she and Daredevil, sorry Matt, don't get along too great," I started. At Pops' confused look, I continued saying, "She chased him around Hell's Kitchen and he busted her camera."

"I-I'm sorry, chased? In broad daylight with the red suit and everything?" Pops cut in, obviously not picking up on the way the Defenders tended to operate. 

"No, they weren't in suits or anything, she just followed him around with her camera and whatnot."

"Wait, I get how that can be creepy and all, but how did he even know she was there? It's not like he has super senses or anything!" I grimaced. "Right?!"

"Well..." My voice raised an octave or two as I dragged the word out. Mr. Stark threw his arms up in frustration and Pops just looked shocked there were more people with enhanced senses. "How else is he supposed to get around? He has to rely on his super senses and he probably just heard her since he can pick up on just about anything."

"What do you mean, 'How else is he supposed to get around?' Can't he just, ya know, look around? He does have eyes, right?" I think Mr. Stark is trying to cover up his confusion in his own "I'm a billionaire genius, I'm never wrong" type of way.

"Well, no, he's blind, obviously," I stated, oblivious to the shock running through both my father and my mentor.

"H-He's _what_?" Mr. Stark choked out.

"Like, no sight kind of blind. Are there more types of blindness than just 'I can't see?' Like, there's no blindness where you can't smell, that's just a bad sense of smell, not a type of blindness." More silence followed that little revelation.

"S-so back to Jessica Jones..." Pops said.

"Oh! Okay, so Jessica is actually pretty chilled out, but you do not wanna mess with her, especially on a bad day," I started, shuddering a bit. At the expectant looks, I continued, "Okay, so it all started when she... Well, she probably doesn't want that ever repeated so... Okay, so she was dealing with some stuff, and Danny, Iron Fist, kept talking and talking and talking, and even I was getting annoyed. So she... Well, she threw him through some bar's wall... Yeah, the owner, this guy named Weasel, was not pleased, but this other guy in red seemed to think it was hilarious. Anyway, I've done my best to stay on Jessica's good side, and if you ever run into her, I suggest you do the same."

"You're on a first-name basis with these Defender people?" Pops asked.

"That's all you took away from that whole thing, Cap?" Mr. Stark gave Pops a flat look.

"No, but I didn't know my son was so close to people who call themselves the 'Iron Fist' and 'Ferret.'" I murmured "Weasel" under my breath, but was ignored by the two heroes. 

" _Anyways_ , speaking of the Iron Fist, or Danny as I call him, he's a pretty nice guy, but he's kinda like the vegan cousin who shows up unannounced to the family barbecue to complain about how much meat there is... Other than that though, he's a nice guy." They didn't have much to say about Danny apparently. "Then there's Luke. He's _strong_. Like probably stronger than Dad, and he's bulletproof. It's the coolest thing, but not when his clothes get all shredded up. He's a ten out of ten stand-up-guy, a bit of a rough past, but they all have that. It's sort of their thing."

"Bulletproof? Is it some kind of tech or armor?" Mr. Stark asked curiously. Of course, he'd be the one to ask if it was tech.

"No, it's just Luke. Then back to Matt, since we kinda glossed over him last night." They nodded in agreement, clearly most eager and apprehensive to hear about my relationship with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. "Well, he's a really great guy, and he's not even as dangerous as the police like to say he is. He's a blind lawyer and he's definitely helped me out with... More than a few unfortunate legal matters," Seeing the looks on my father's face, I quickly moved on. "He's got a really cool best friend, and he knows Spanish, and he's even hooked me up with his suit guy and we work on making new stuff for whatever projects he's cooking up. Overall, great guy, 20 out of 10, would hang with Matt Murdock again."

"Okay... But your dad and I have to talk with them." Pops said sternly.

"Why?! It's not like they're doing anything wrong! Just some light vigilantism never hurt anyone!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, we've gotta have a chat with these 'Defenders'." Mr. Stark cut in.

"Nope, no, not happening. It's embarrassing enough to have my dads meeting the people I occasionally fight with, but you, Mr. Stark? That's where I draw the line. See, there's the line, and I just drew it." I gestured making a straight line with my hands.

"Fine, but we still have to have a talk about all this business with your parents. You hid who your parents were from me? Why Pete? I thought we were closer than that." Great, and there's my cue to leave.

"Well, it's been great talking to you guys, but I have to... Patrol! I have to go out on patrol, so, see you later Pops! I'll figure out times for you guys to meet." I was nearly out the door when-

"Not so fast, Mister. You gonna at least say goodbye to your dad?" I turned and nearly ran face-first into my dad's chest. 

"Oh, hi there... Bye, there!" I ran down the hallway and out of the nearest window. I swung around the city for a bit before stopping at the line between Queens and Hell's Kitchen.

"So, Peter, you giving away all our secrets?" I jerked my head to the side, nearly falling off the roof before seeing the Defenders in their civvies. 

"I- Not- No... Not your secrets, just my- my honest opinions of you..." I was trying (and failing) to save my sorry butt.

"Yeah... You really think I'm the weird vegan neighbor?" Danny said, almost hurt.

"Cousin," Jessica started. "He said you were the vegan cousin, not the neighbor." She looked oddly pleased with my description of Danny. I stayed on the ground, shocked that they weren't super angry, and honestly, I was waiting for someone to jump me.

"Relax, kid, we're just kidding. You're not so bad yourself. Ten out of ten, nice guy," Luke said. I gaped at them while Matt snickered in the back.

"But the blindness comments," I froze. "What the hell, kid? B-blindness where you have no smell?" He started laughing at me while I stared at him in mild fear. 

"Haha, yeah, I'm really funny like that. Are we done now? Cause I have to get back to swinging." I said, nervous.

"Sure, get swinging kid," Jessica said, dismissing me.

"O-Okay, bye guys!" I said, swinging off the edge. I turned slightly to see them waving, before hearing some lady crying for help. Time to be a hero, Parker.

**Author's Note:**

> For the sake of my own sanity, let's pretend that Queens and Hell's Kitchen are right next to each other.
> 
> I was up till 3 am writing this last night and it was honestly so fun. I will be taking a bit of time to get the next chapters out as this was the last one to be caught up with my uploads on Wattpad. Thank you for reading, and let's get into the story.
> 
> Did anyone catch the Deadpool reference?


End file.
